Was doing the unusual and watching a movie... the movie a more realistic portrait of the world for American youth coming of age in my generation.  The generation that learned through the media and talk that nothing is to be trusted, everything is relative.  The coming of age tale post hippies, post Vietnam, post Watergate... post Vatican Two.... it was an age where the first true kids of the TV age came of age.  Disenfranchisement and the ugliness of life was laid bare.  Dreams were shown to mean little against a back drop of F-words and drugs, drinking and confusion.

My God have mercy.  I was raised by a good believing Mother, Grandparents, a Father who brought milkshakes to me after my many surgeries... but it was not enough to battle the fog of the age... the wonder of how can we little nothings make the world a better place if the idealism of the Hippies didn't work?  How can we trust anyone if the politics, the corporations, if the very establishment of our country was a maniacal greed feed machine of hubris.  How when we needed it most even the Church was lost in its own identity crisis of how to interpret Vatican Two, which in its proper context was a wonderful reform but in its application in the US a misunderstood and misinterpreted document.   So the generation fell into hedonistic pleasures to cover the emptiness and pain, the hopelessness of every having a better life then our parents.  The TV machine showed life to be nothing but a battle to the end of who has the most things.  The care and empathy of the common man, the poor man a forgotten reality that should be ignored.

No wonder so many were lost from my generation, how I mourn the beginning of lost innocence due the external influences that started to override the familial.  How I mourn the lost of so many souls who strove and craved more then what was being shown them thru schools, TV, music, movies... we are the product of mankind's manipulations... those that thought they had a better way then previous ages.   God was no longer allowed into our public consciousness, mercy a weakness, compassion another's mission.  God have nercy on us.... God forgive us...God, dear God teach us, now we are older to know better...I beg of you teach us and have mercy so we may do Thy will and heal this troubled world.