Thursday, July 1, 2010


            Lord grant that I may always allow myself to be guided by You, always follow Your plans, and perfectly accomplish Your holy will.

            Grant that in all things, great and small, today and all the days of my life, I may do whatever you may require of me. Help me to respond to the slightest prompting of Your grace, so that I may be Your trustworthy instrument. May Your will be done in time and eternity, by me, in me, and through me. Amen.
Prayer by St. Therese of Lisieux-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a COOL weather day today-Yeah!  God was kind to the valley!!!!  Was just a nice pleasant day, went to Mass, got to plant flowers, do some physical labor and not be drenched in sweat..ahhhhhh, sweet!!  Lovely flowers, lovely day, lovely company. Had a couple of those MH moements that don't really dawn on me until after I head home, where through a statement by one of the staff there that hits me when I get home. A "duh" moment that always amazes me how it washes over my head when there and comes back in replay in the mind later. Or just a particular moment that flashes before me when I see the error of my own behavior, or spoken statement and now wish I hadn't said such-n-such. One day I might actually learn to engage my brain before I talk? LOL, why someone like me really should follow the sage advice of saints and holy people and pratice being silent and not speaking unless really necessary.

Now if I can just quit these darn smokes completely (working on it, and failing, and working on it).  Tomorrow is Friday, so will start anew it's a fast day so that will be a good fast.. can't complain only had one cig all day, and one in the am pre-shower.  So I'll take another shower tonight and not smoke any afterwards.  

Why am I even writing about this here? :0P  LOL 

Oh, that's right because I still can be an ass that's way.  Ugh.  Could try and blame it on the nicotine withdraw, but that is excuse making and not changing the fact that selfishness is the factor behind the behavior.  So once again aware of the vain in myself and need to be rid of it by changing my self.  Welp, knew it wasn't going to be easy or a sprint.  Ask forgiveness, and the grace to be made always aware of this fault of mine and to have help in changing and letting go of this ugly trait in me.  Then study, meditate and learn from the two best examples of humility.  Mother Mary and Jesus.  And remind myself continually "I am third", "I am third".  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Wow, after the past few days it is almost astonishing to feel this "normal".  Yes, I feel terrible about my oopsie's of the day, but still a wonderful lightness of being is dwelling within and it is refreshing like the cool, non-humid weather. Think I will thank God and the people I was with and just relax and go with it for as long as it may last  :0) 

"One thing I ask of the Lord, one thing I seek: that I may be constant in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.
One thing I ask: to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple, that I may be constant in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.

O God, by your grace you adopted us and chose us to be children of light.
  Grant that we may not become entangled in error and shadow
  but always shine with the glory of truth.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
  who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
  God for ever and ever.
Office Of Readings: Thursday 1July2010

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