Saturday, February 27, 2010

"...How precious and dear that grace appear the hour i first believe- hallelujah grace like rain falls down on me hallelujah all my stains are washed away!..."  Song below by Todd Agnew, numero 6.  yes i know the Amazing Grace lyrics are liberally in there, but such a good song who cares?

What to say?  So much to say, little.  I am back in Virginia after 6 months living in Canada, so much learned.  So much grace, so much sacrifice, so much given.. so much received...

To say that I wish my departure was vastly different would be the bone-solid truth.  To say there wasn't some definite pain involved would be a bold lie.  But all I can say is I hold no animosity, for all is done with love and trust.  Love, trust, faith, hope, subservience, acquiescence... all in trust, nothing that I am.  All I am is because of the love of the Great One that made me, without the divine I am nothing.  What is life without He that assumed what is human and is born to die for me and for all?  Trust in the Divine.. the Divine mercy, the Divine love.. for Jesus and Mary are within me... For they are always in me even when they are silent.  Trust.. trust.. humility... small.. hidden among the hidden... unconditional love for the Jesus in all... sacrifice for the love of the One.... yes, invisible to all except the One that matters...

For them, for you I offer it all... for the children needing surgeries.. .. for all those hidden, alone.. for them... for me... for You.
A week has passed since arriving home.  A set schedule for myself is needed to foster and encourage my prayer life.  Daily praying of the Divine Office has comforted me, reminded me, and leads to better inner prayer and is returning the inner silence and fostering a return to that touching of Jesus within that I lost contact with over these past almost four weeks.  Praying Lauds and Vespers and Evening prayer almost everyday and trying to fit in the smaller Hours.  Being home has shown where my main distractions, weaknesses and attachments are, at least for now.  This Sunday, today, I am praying to the Holy Spirit to guide me on a schedule to follow here at home to help keep me grounded in spiritual growth, to live for now hidden within the world yet living not of this world as God sees fit for me right now.

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