Friday, July 10, 2009

Friday Night Ramble to Self

So another Thursday has passed, this one a rough mix of emotions. The sadness from Sunshine's death hit more in the evening once the silence of the day descended and there wasn't a furry face meowing for attention. This morning too quiet with no a.m. food begging parade. Walked slowly through the park today just taking in the sights and the moment.

I missed my Maronite Divine Liturgy the past week plus got to go the past 2 days-yeah! (Father was out of town and had another priest, Roman Rite, fill in. Funny watching all the parishioners trying to remember what to do and say when. Fill in was great Homilist tho!) Was going to Roman Rite weekday Mass which is just as wonderful and sacred just was the shorter working people's Mass,lol, speed Mass I call 'em. Just something about the pace, the prayers and more active role the lay people take in the Maronite Liturgy especially during the weekdays. The main Sunday Divine Liturgy is actually the one I avoid preferring the more quiet Saturday night service. The intimacy more tangible, more silent for prayer and becoming lost within the ritual, readings, intentions, and humbling glory of being in the real presence of our Lord Jesus.

Nothing feeds my soul more then eyes closed and listening in either Rite...must be due the fine line between hearing world and non-hearing world I lived in so often in my first 30 some years. Silence and sound mixed throughout Mass is transcendental for me... a contemplative cocktail of God's wonder to my being. Rhythm of prayers, responses spoken in unison, the chains of the incensor (sp?)in its rhythmic swinging, singing voices harmonizing in such beauty, the deep burden and offering of the priest as he kneels and asks for mercy and all join singing the Kyrie Eleison. Soft humbling, yearning and joyous. No matter the Rite the silence and sounds unite our love for the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit- it never gets trite or old instead my love for it all just grows.
Love is beauty... from the welcoming caress of a mother's hand on her new baby's head, to the gentle farewell caress on the dying person's cheek and forehead. The eyes reaching out with pure love.

No where however horrific can escape the beauty of love. The sister picking maggots from a lepers sores, what beauty! What love! The gentle eyes of a stranger warmly smiling to the homeless crazy man fighting invisible enemies giving him a reprieve from society's judgments. What simple loving mercy! A tortured prisoner languishing in a cell remembering the sounds of his children's laughter, letting the love fill him and lifting his world from hell to a momentary Eden of love's hope. What strength is love!

Love's grace in darkness, love's glory in light.

God's most simple gift and most profound treasure... His Divine Love. How did we wretched humans ever deign such a wondrous gift? Through Christ's Passion...For Jesus' love for us lost children did He humbly mingled with the vileness of our fallen nature knowing we will make Him suffer and die. His love is what gave us merit. His Love gave us hope. Everyday He is crucified anew by our actions and thoughts, everyday He lovingly forgives the repentant heart. Love.

In Corinthians reading today "the things that no eye has seen and no ear has heard, things beyond the mind of man, all that God has prepared for those who love him. These are the very things that God has revealed to us through the Spirit." God's love touches us and opens the senses, heart and mind. Only with love can we be transformed... simplistic I know but still true.

Love makes the blind man see and the deaf man hear... removes the cloth that covers our hearts so He might fill it with the grace of His love. There is no real, lasting beauty in this world without God's grace. An atheist might see the natural beauty of the tree, an artist the beauty of the tree's lines but only with love of the Divine Master can a man see the true grace filled beauty and prayer each tree gives for the glory of God's creation. Only then can we feel the God within the tree.

LOL, didn't say it was some grand insightful ramble, just a mental floss note to myself so I can re-read later. Been a long exhausting 2 days, and I am tired. Good night moon.

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