Into the night the sun fades away,
The day a memory of faith and failings,
How shall the Divine judge our trails and tests?
How shall we be decided on our attempts for contrite offerings?


Silence of the self, a delectable blessed hum of listening and moving.

The moon is my mother, she is the perfect reflection of the sun.

-------------------------------
 To be blessed with a couple days of silence of mind, silence of being even in the midst of noise and frenetic activity...the gentle hum of  grace-filled silence that speaks to the heart, lets you listen to the voice within speaking. Allows you to softly talk with your Savior in a deeper, more intimate way then normal. The self craves to rest and remain within this all consuming silence so warm, loving and comforting.  Allowing the mind, heart to travel where it is lead.  To feel the cross chosen for you alone to bear within the silence makes the burden light and the journey a gift to He that lays it on you, an offering so sweet the hardship nominal. What more can I do for You dear Jesus?  What more?

It seems so little, so insignificant these meager offering I give to You.  How I wish I could lay at your feet large works that help my fellow man.  How I wish I could lay at your feet amazing acts of holiness for your glory.  Instead I lay these few crushed dying weeds of effort.  Instead you receive these sad little tokens of attempts and failures of my daily works and prayers. Forgive me my human efforts, so pathetic and tiny, so stained with my sin, selfishness and vanity.  Without you I can do nothing.. without you I am nothing.. without you I cease to be alive.  Let me always live in you dear Jesus. Let my heart be a loving restful home for you to rest your head.  Let me do for you everything.  Make me a holy servant of your will and nothing more.  You have the power to transform my miserly offerings into gifts of love that shine.  All I ask is for your love and your grace to always do your will and nothing else matters.

“In the consecrated Host we find...that same Jesus who rose again and appeared to the  Apostles and in whose wounds Thomas put his finger.”

Divine Intimacy, Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, O.C.D.

"We must wait for God long, meekly, in the wind and wet, in the thunder and lightning, in the cold and the dark. Wait, and he will come. He never comes to those who do not wait."

 

-Father Faber

Blessed Feast of St Thomas: "Let us also go and die with him"

Apostle         St. Thomas was one of the fishermen on the Lake of A Galilee whom our Lord called to be his apostles. By nature slow to believe, too apt to see difficulties, and to look at the dark side of things, he had withal a most sympathetic, loving, and courageous heart.
        Once when Jesus spoke of the mansions in his Father's house, St. Thomas, in his simplicity, asked: "Lord, we know not whither you go, and how can we know the way?"
        When Jesus turned to go toward Bethany to the grave of Lazarus, the desponding apostle at once feared the worst for his beloved Lord, yet cried out bravely to the rest: "Let us also go and die with him"
        After the Resurrection, incredulity again prevailed, and whilst the wounds of the crucifixion were imprinted vividly on his affectionate mind, he would not credit the report that Christ had indeed risen. But at the actual sight of the pierced hands and side, and the gentle rebuke of his Saviour, unbelief was gone forever; and his faith and ours has ever triumphed in the joyous utterance into which he broke: "My Lord and my God!"


Lives of the Saints, by Alban Butler, Benziger Bros. ed. [1894]

 Speaking of the Eucharist, St Gemma Galgani once said...

 

                "It is a question of uniting two extremes.

                God, who is everything, and the creature who is nothing;

                God who is Light, and the creature who is darkness;

                God who is holiness, and the creature who is sin.

 

                It is a question of taking part in the Table of the Lord.

                There cannot be, then, enough preparation for it."

  PRAYER TO KNOW GOD'S WILL

            Lord grant that I may always allow myself to be guided by You, always follow Your plans, and perfectly accomplish Your holy will.

            Grant that in all things, great and small, today and all the days of my life, I may do whatever you may require of me. Help me to respond to the slightest prompting of Your grace, so that I may be Your trustworthy instrument. May Your will be done in time and eternity, by me, in me, and through me. Amen.
Prayer by St. Therese of Lisieux-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a COOL weather day today-Yeah!  God was kind to the valley!!!!  Was just a nice pleasant day, went to Mass, got to plant flowers, do some physical labor and not be drenched in sweat..ahhhhhh, sweet!!  Lovely flowers, lovely day, lovely company. Had a couple of those MH moements that don't really dawn on me until after I head home, where through a statement by one of the staff there that hits me when I get home. A "duh" moment that always amazes me how it washes over my head when there and comes back in replay in the mind later. Or just a particular moment that flashes before me when I see the error of my own behavior, or spoken statement and now wish I hadn't said such-n-such. One day I might actually learn to engage my brain before I talk? LOL, why someone like me really should follow the sage advice of saints and holy people and pratice being silent and not speaking unless really necessary.

Now if I can just quit these darn smokes completely (working on it, and failing, and working on it).  Tomorrow is Friday, so will start anew it's a fast day so that will be a good fast.. can't complain only had one cig all day, and one in the am pre-shower.  So I'll take another shower tonight and not smoke any afterwards.  

Why am I even writing about this here? :0P  LOL 

Oh, that's right because I still can be an ass that's way.  Ugh.  Could try and blame it on the nicotine withdraw, but that is excuse making and not changing the fact that selfishness is the factor behind the behavior.  So once again aware of the vain in myself and need to be rid of it by changing my self.  Welp, knew it wasn't going to be easy or a sprint.  Ask forgiveness, and the grace to be made always aware of this fault of mine and to have help in changing and letting go of this ugly trait in me.  Then study, meditate and learn from the two best examples of humility.  Mother Mary and Jesus.  And remind myself continually "I am third", "I am third".  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Wow, after the past few days it is almost astonishing to feel this "normal".  Yes, I feel terrible about my oopsie's of the day, but still a wonderful lightness of being is dwelling within and it is refreshing like the cool, non-humid weather. Think I will thank God and the people I was with and just relax and go with it for as long as it may last  :0) 
_________________________________________________________________

"One thing I ask of the Lord, one thing I seek: that I may be constant in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.

One thing I ask: to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple, that I may be constant in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.

---

O God, by your grace you adopted us and chose us to be children of light.

  Grant that we may not become entangled in error and shadow

  but always shine with the glory of truth.

Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,

  who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,

  God for ever and ever.

Amen."

Office Of Readings: Thursday 1July2010

“For God alone my soul waits in silence,
for my hope is from him.” Psalm 62:5

"Our Lady listens attentively to what God wants, ponders what she doesn't fully understand and asks about what she doesn't know. Then she gives herself completely to doing the divine Will."

        -St. Josemaria Escriva

To not live just with Jesus, but to live in Jesus... your arms are His arms; His hands, your hands; His words are your words; His heart is your heart.  His love is your love, and your love is His love.  A flowing dance loving where one is not recognizable from the other. Complete giving of you to He, and He knowing your openness smiles as He openly gives you all He. Jesus alive within your ever transforming heart so together you both look heavenward pray whispering over and over  "Abba...Abba" who embraces you both in indescribable love.  So united onward, ever onward to find the searching, lost and spread the wonder of God.  Uniting in floating joy in Jesus, who lives within you and unites you in Him, who is united with the Father. So all are one...

hmmm...........?  A child copies and imitates their older sibling and parents for they love and want to be exactly like them..to be childlike...to be transformed and cleansed, to be made thru grace united... with The Father, the Brother... so hard to find right words...


think it is going to be an interesting evening tonight, if God is willing to allow the grace... open these eyes, and this heart to understand as You will.

The Innate Qualities of the Child

THE INNATE QUALITIES OF THE CHILD
(from Volume II of The Three Ages of the Interior Life ^[2])
What are ordinarily the innate qualities of a child? In spite of his little defects, we find in a child, as a rule, simplicity and consciousness of his weakness, especially if he has been baptized and is being raised in a Christian manner.
The simplicity, or the absence of duplicity, of a child is wholly spontaneous; in him there is no labored refinement, no affectation. He generally says what he thinks and expresses what he desires without subterfuge, without fear of what people will say. As a rule he does not pose; he shows himself as he is. Conscious of his weakness, for he can do nothing of himself, he depends in everything on his father and mother, from whom he should receive everything. This awareness of his weakness is the seed of humility, which leads him to practice the three theological virtues, often in a profoundly simple manner.
At first the child spontaneously believes what his parents tell him; often they speak to him of God and teach him to pray. Innately the child has confidence in his parents, who teach him to hope in God even before he knows the formula of the act of hope, which he will soon read in his catechism and recite morning and evening. Finally with all his heart the child loves his parents, to whom he owe  everything; and if his father and mother are truly Christian, they lift the lively affection of this young heart toward God, our Lord, and His holy Mother. In this simplicity, this consciousness of his weakness, and this simple practice of the three theological virtues, there is the seed of the loftiest spiritual life. For this reason, when Jesus wished to teach His apostles the importance of humility, setting a little child in the midst of them He said: “Amen I say to you, unless you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” In recent years we have seen realized the prediction of Pope Pius X: “There will be saints among the children,” called at an early age to frequent Communion.
Later on, during the awkward age, the child often loses his simplicity, the consciousness of his weakness, and wishes to act prematurely like a man; he gives evidence of pride and duplicity. And if he delights in speaking of certain virtues, it is less of the theological virtues than of human virtues, like fortitude and courage, which lend importance to his budding personality, and a certain prudence which he does not know how to distinguish from false prudence, and which, in his attempt to hide disorders in his life, may turn into deceit.
The harsh experience of life then reminds him of his weakness; at times he meets with injustice, which shows him the value of a higher justice. He suffers from lies that are believed, thus discovering the value of uprightness. Finally, if he reflects, if he has not ceased to pray a little every day, he understands Christ’s words: “Without Me you can do nothing,” and the profound meaning of the Our Father again becomes apparent to him. He repeats this prayer of his childhood, sometimes spending ten minutes saying the Our Father once from the depths of his heart. He has again found the road of salvation.

---

Article printed from Catholicism.org: http://catholicism.org
URL to article: http://catholicism.org/ad-rem-no-126.html

Read this on Facebook today, I rather liked it :0)  Simple, and easy.

"On this day, God wants you to know...

... that silence is golden. When we are quiet, we can hear God's messages to us. Sometimes these messages may be in the form of subtle intuition. Sometimes it may feel like an inner knowing. Sometimes we may hear a 'still, small voice.' If it feels right in your heart, trust that it is God speaking to you."

Wholly converted to God.  Is this not what we so strongly desire?  To become so desirous of God's love there is never another thought, desire, wish within any part of our being? Take some time to ponder how unimaginable it is to even grasp a tiny portion of what God's true being, His true Love must feel like, must be like.  To be in the presence of such Divine infinite loving light that is God!  How can I a tiny speck of sinful being even dare to imagine such glorious grandeur of the Almighty's being?  Yet, this is why He sent His Son, Jesus.. God who walked, lived, laughed, suffered amongst us.

Jesus, who willingly came here for us out of love and obedience to His Father.  Jesus, how you must have suffered so being away from Heaven by choice, for love...You came to teach us how to die to self.  So we, so I, could strive to die to my self and learn to walk Your path of ever growing love.  All is God.  everything IS God.  Cleanse me, teach me so my soul may ever receive Thee! Nothing else matters except for the most Holy Trinity- God.  Bless me with Thy grace, transform this filthy , stained soul!  Grant me Thy mercy so all thoughts, all actions, all desire is only to serve, love, adore, praise You, my glorious God!  For only You have the power to cleanse us, only You have the merciful love to heal us of our sinfulness.  Unite us with your love.  O, to be united with You!  To not have these vanities blocking Your love, Your Will for us...
____________________________

Our Lord Jesus never passed out.

Jesus, never passed out from pains that would make the normal man fall in a faint from the pain...the blood loss... the humiliation.

"I shall love You, I shall love You always; when day breaks, when evening turns into night, at every hour, at every moment; I shall love You always......"
-Saint Gemma Galgani

--Sometimes I wonder,why St Gemma?  Her words inflame this weak soul.  Her desires to become a religious never fulfilled//is that to be my fate also?  To never be able to join a religious order due my age, my past illnesses?  O, how I thirst to serve our Lord Jesus in an order.... but  as I sir here writing this blog.... I wonder, I wonder if this is just a pipe dream, a want of my own.  What does our God wish of me?  How may I serve Him?  To give all I have to Him, how does he wish me to serve?   So many n need and here I write about my own petty wants.  For you dear Jesus, for You.. that is all that matters.
---------------------------------------------------------
Is there anybody out there?  We all share a world of searching... searching, yearning, wanting... How we crave to be united to Jesus in our worthlessness... worthlessness made worthy by His death and resurrection.  Searching.. needing ... yearning... all for the desire to give all....

Angelus

The Angel of the Lord declared to Mary:
And she conceived of the Holy Spirit. 

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of
our death. Amen. 

Behold the handmaid of the Lord: Be it done unto me according to Thy word. 

Hail Mary . . . 

And the Word was made Flesh: And dwelt among us. 

Hail Mary . . . 

Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us pray: 

Pour forth, we beseech Thee, O Lord, Thy grace into our hearts; that we, to whom the incarnation of Christ, Thy Son, was made known by the message of an angel, may by His Passion and Cross be brought to the glory of His Resurrection, through the same Christ Our Lord.

Amen. 

---

"Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you" (Lk 1:28) 

 "Blessed are you among women,
 and blessed is the fruit of your womb"
(Lk 1:42). 

Years have passed, I look back with a certain mirth and bemused laugh.  What did I know at 25? 30? 35?  LOL, more then I should have, less then I ought for that age.  Intriguing how in our being we are a swirling mix of amazing innocence, naiveté, and hard earned wisdom of life's experiences. Somethings must be lived as only one who walks through life can live them.  So I am sitting here listening to music after watching a ballgame on the brain-drain tube pondering the mundane and the profound... any insights you ask?  LMAO!  No, just a drifting fluff of dandelion in a spring's strong breeze floating from one direction to another- wherever the synapses and heart drift.  Dreaming, yet, seeing clarity mixed with illusion.  Ahhh, life, life, life, life... How wondrous a mystery you are in this vast cosmic maelstrom where we crawl grasping at the microscopic filaments of wonderment. 

--------------So much music no longer is safe for me to hear, or rather I choose to not listen to due the negative effects it has on my being.  Some due the overt wrongness of its message, some due the vile nature of the tone and hues of its harmonic thrash.  Some simply because it makes my mind go where now I know is wrong if I wish to follow my Lord. being more aware of my weaknesses. Weakness... weakness... human frailty?  Human blindness to the reality of the vile that walks this world disguised, seeking to ensnare and destroy. Have mercy on us, we small weak creatures- blessed with Your Light and yet so blind to Thy glory.  While billions crave a meal or water, a life without horrific sufferings; we in the west are so damaged we think of TV, cell phone text messages, and animalistic comforts so programmed to ignore the cries of the invisible.  So conditioned like drooling dogs to not think beyond the walls of the rooms we hide within and the virtual people we interact with by electronic gadgets obsolete after a year.

---------------------I see the tree. I see God.  I see the tree, now as a part of God.  I see the tree in my mind's eye now.  How the visual memory of the trees by St Germaine's have transfigured into another reality from their original inception...of this feeble being's mental eye.

----------- -----Shhhh...I'm waiting for the nightfall.  Some yearn to be always in the sun's light but they miss the glory of the night.  Look up and see the wonder above you.  Look up and see the beauty of the light!  Look up and see!  Only in the night can you truly see light's knee bending brilliance.  In the day the world hums and fills with bustling frenetic activity.  In the dark of night, silence envelops and wraps its arms of silence around you, a breath, a symphony of depth's undiscovered.  In the daring to venture into the soul's depths of faith and trust you learn to walk and breath the mysteries taught in heart beating breathing wonder of His silent love.