Pentecost Sunday! Yeah!

Isn't our God a mighty GOD?!? Oh yes .... "Come oh Holy Spirit come!"

Jesus Is Just Alright With Me (thanks Doobie Brothers)

Silence of a Saturday night... heartbeat rhythm ticking the time. I sit listening a cat interrupts with an attention seeking meow... smiling I scratch his fat furry head.



Interesting how life moves once you are saved again by God. The ebbs and flows of noise and silence, of insight and dullness, of prayer and dryness, devotion and sloth all meander and mesh into a cosmic flux of evolution. The human riddle on why we act the way we do even with certain knowledge searing our soul and heart. Ever since that cold night when I was found, when silence was sharp and shattering before the Holy Spirit uncovered me for a second chance, my life from the outside appeared similar but oh on the inside! polar opposite thoughts reigned through my soul.

How did I survive all that time before? Did Jesus hear me and had plans for me yet to be unveiled? So much time spent in tortured silent suffering when the knife edged quiet sliced and scarred my soul, so much so all I could think to make it bearable was to yell inside my heart God if you can hear me take this away from me and if not then I will carry this pain of mine and please let me carry another suffering person's pain so they may have a island of relief. My childhood catechism lessons on suffering were a bit misconstrued through the years of neglect, but I knew somehow in my heart Jesus or Mary heard me, and that somewhere a person was relaxed in relief for they had a moment in an oasis of peace thanks to God's mercy. I still had hope in God's power.

Is this purgatory I would think to myself, is this twisted illness a dark forewarning of what would happen if I did not find my way home to my master's house? Hunh, if this is purgatory then i shudder to think what awaits people in hell. If that was purgatory then please dear God let me live as much of it as I can here on earth so when I die I may join you in Heaven as quickly as possible!

I remember during this darkest of times, on medications that killed my mind, ruined my ability to read, concentrate, think, even made TV to hard to comprehend, made my emotions devoid of pleasure, love, anger, sadness anything echoing normal human feelings. I saw Mother Teresa had died while I was on 5th floor rehab. One of the few times my emotions felt such great sorrow for the loss to the world and what a joy to Heaven. I prayed as best as my lost Catholic heart could for God to welcome her with the angels and the finest mansion near her Love's throne. I prayed to her for her prayers to Jesus for my salvation from the torment I was under and how I would love to become a sister like her to live and honor God my remanding days. Later on not sure how long I was again praying for Mother Teresa to please pray to God for me when as clear as day I heard a voice say that now was not my time that I had to wait that I was not alone but there were plans for me.

LOL< class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">silence I sit Hockey game on but not looking at it wondering how these past couple years will unfold when looked at, God willing, 2 or 5 years down the line. Will I find that elusive whatever I feel my life was being shaped for? Will I stray? No, I cannot see that ever happening, my faith is my life and I thank and beg Jesus to never lose His sheep again. How I marvel at people who seem to know what they want from life, I rarely had those moments. Never dreamed of motherhood even as a child and how much I know my Mother hoped I would play with my dolls and not dig holes to China in the backyard. My only real dream of youth was to be an artist until I got in the way, LOL, boy did I ever! Oh in Kindergarten I wanted to be either a medicine woman or a nun. Go figure, but in Cherokee culture they take great notice of a child's desire at the age of about 5 as a sign of what the child shall become in the tribe. Oh well, it all worked out in a weird way so I could be where I needed to be when the major things happened in my family and I was able to be around to help those I care most about.

So I sit here on a silent Saturday night the cats wandering off since my typing does not include spoiling them or food. I realize that its been a long strange trip (thanks Grateful Dead) but now I can be in this moment and be content with it. Here, now.. nothing longer nothing prior, nothing to come... feeling my heart beating a love song from Jesus and Mary saying "We are here with you, and always have been and always will. Trust in your Lord for you are never alone." Ya know... that is alright with me. Thank you God for you are all I need! All the rest, well, I will leave that to you.

May, the month we take time to honor Mary

May, the month we take time to honor Mary the blessed mother of Jesus. How sad I feel for those who do not see the wonderful gift Jesus gave us when on the cross He gave his beloved, sweet mother to the world. What better woman to lead us lovingly to Jesus?

Blessed Mary how much you have helped me over my life by carrying my prayers to your son so divine. How much I hope that when I die and hopefully will be in Heaven I can have the wonderful pleasure of seeing how Jesus looks at you with his glorious tender love and how you look at Him. I bet all of the angels and saints in Heaven take pause to enjoy the love they witness. Of course I am sure that you never truly take your eyes off your Lord and Master your son. Like the angels your eyes are always on Jesus even as you labor to serve Him... what wonders..what wonders.
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OK Everybody Just Take A Time Out- Swine/Human/Bird Flu Thoughts

The misnomered Swine flu has everybody in a tizzy. The right wingers think it is a government plot, the end timers think it is God's judgment coming down, the in-betweeners of everything just watch TV and buy into the panic fed media. Until I see stronger proof that this flu is capable of spreading at a greater rate then common flu or has a consistent mortality rate comparable to average yearly flu virus in the US I am not going to get into a lather about it.

The best thing for people to do is what they should be doing anyway- wash your hands, cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze and just utilize the good common sense God gave you. It is way to early to say what the newest flu strain will yield, epidemiologist still aren't sure what the genetic make of the virus is, if it has morphed into a variant strain yet, and where the patient zero was/is and or who it is. They are still testing pigs, and I would presume other animals in the area they think is the ground zero. As for the pandemic warning that is mainly due to air travel versus ground transmission as seen in olden days so the WHO has to give early warning to countries just in case it is a truly malignant strain of virus. Plus it gives all the protocols set up after the SARS scare a real life test run.

Everybody just turn off the TV and relax. Go outside and sit in your yard and watch the spring greening! Do not let the fear mongering that is so profitable for media make you crazy! It is prudent to always have a couple weeks of supplies on hand in case of any emergency, not just the flu. End Timer's trust in Jesus! Even the Bible warns to not be lead astray by fear mongers. Right Wingers, were was your anger and distrust when Bush was implementing all these rules for martial law, etc? Don't you think that maybe this is a ploy by forces greater then gov't? Like the let's make money off a scared public so we can get more govt money by the drug and medical supply companies? Most of their contracts are ending after the bird flu scare.

Just some things to ponder and pray over folks is all I am saying. The Germans and other states learned the best way to control a population is to keep them in a constant state of fear, and that works for oligarchies too. Just saying look at the bigger less obvious picture... look for the people behind the curtains before you jump to apocalyptic/ Obama's the Antichrist thinking is all.