Friday, November 20, 2009
This has been an interesting visit home so far... before coming home I had imagined I would be chasing after the things I missed most when at Madonna House living in the dorm. Not so I have discovered, instead I am finding rather a lack of desire for these things previously thought to be creature comforts. Yes, I do admit I enjoy eating more meat not floating in stew and it is nice to listen to music whenever, but besides the initial joy in these things I am finding myself rather indifferent towards them. A nice special treat rather then a "must have" or "want to have". TV is a complete waste of time, I have tried to watch many things and all seem to be either silly wastes of time or else sadly vile in how they convolute the good in this world. No wonder our world seems so lost and confused, but that was no new revelation about the media in the USA.
It has been nice and warm here for the first week, 70s during the day, and the leaves are still falling and the grass green, some roses still blooming and hardy flowers bright and hope filled. So as I look around me at my home and loving family I feel love for them but also within me I feel a detachment from them. There is no longer that fear(?), or dread of leaving them if God so desires... At times I wonder at what the Lord wishes for me to do to serve Him, how He desires me to serve His will, but I have no clue. So instead I just continue praying hopefully to Him that He makes it easy for me to hear, see and follow His will. That I may be like a leaf on His living waters going where ever He desires and allowing me the good grace to never go contrary to His will. LOL, a good challenge knowing myself at times!
at 9:35 PM