Monday, April 26, 2010

I have gotten hooked on Fr Bob's daily prayer feeds through the website Society of the Little Flower! and you can sign up for his daily reflection and the daily readings

In light of today's Scripture readings, Fr. Bob's Prayer is:
Inclusive God, Who gathers all people into the gates of Your heart, pour forth Your purifying Spirit. Purge us of our desire to exclude, and therefore demean others. We want Jesus to be the gateway, but we want to decide who enters and belongs. Our petty hearts must frustrate you, Jesus. You who rose above it all, and we are here dividing, demeaning, deciding and excluding. We misuse the keys you gave us. Our very chosen-ness becomes our great temptation. Our righteousness narrows the gate to your heart and deafens us to your shepherd's familiar call. Give us your shepherd's heart which invites and embraces everyone in the pasture. May your Spirit teach us to trust only you to decide who is pure and belongs. Your outstretched arms are a mighty gate - a safe gate. Expand the minds and hearts of those who wish to divide and narrowly define your Church - and purify in us all behaviors, judgments, words and silences which exclude. Help us never to shrink your arms or drown out your voice.
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Saturday, April 24, 2010

In light of today's Scripture readings, Fr. Bob's Prayer is:
Jesus, you are God's holy one! Even though we sometimes experience your message as too difficult and challenging, we still seek to believe you. We don't want to walk away because it does not make worldly sense. Give us the faith of Peter and the apostles, who stuck with you, even amid their doubts and questions. You are the Spirit Who gives life. You are God's Word Who is effective power. Continue to manifest your risen presence among us, Lord Jesus. As Peter cured the paralytic and raised Tabitha, we need to be touched and healed. Allow your healing power to awake the paralysis of our hearts and minds, and those parts of us which are dead. Enliven and free us and be the transcendent, present power which moves us to free and raise up others. We need the miracle of faith in You. Thanks for being eternal life and power for us.
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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Have not written much lately... been a week of inner peacefulness, a calm I had not felt in a long while...

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

"God doesn't see young or old, He sees only a soul that struggles and loves Him."  Mother Angelica 1996, "St John did his best work in his 90's." 
She was in her late forties when she left the hidden life and started EWTN.
Catherine Doherty was 47 when she founded Madonna House.

So with Mary leading me, who knows what she might lead me to in service for her son Jesus?

Saturday, April 10, 2010

"Five will come.  Two will stay, three will run away."  Oct 09 Diary entry

Don't ask.
Over this Lent I was taught in such an unique way, that only our Lord can teach! Helplessness..that arms dropped to the side, palms facing out position of complete supplication of helplessness, of knowing the nothingness of our power on this world... the total acceptance and understanding of helplessness without God;s grace helping us to accomplish even the most rudimentary task or goal.  Funny, I would think it would be a position of sorrow or misery, but it is a place of freedom and joy.  That moment when it is solid and true, the understanding carved into the bone and soul of my being that not by intellect, or teaching but by grace the truth is known and felt within.  Reality forever shifted and, still doesn't make it easier to understand the what's and where's... but it does make it easier to understand the why's and the patience of trust.  Deeper, ever deeper.... yes, deeper ever deeper into the Light and into the wonder.....

Friday, April 9, 2010

...My care and concern reaches out to them from the depths of my heart.  My wishing to help aches out from within, but all I can do is pray and hope.  Pray and hope.

The memories we carry with us...was an interesting saying I heard in a BBC show... the memories we carry with us.
For the last several nights when I sleep, I wake at all hours and the only thing running through my mind is "Jesus, Have mercy on us".  All the groups of people I pray for, all the individual people I pray for, my self...all that is in my mind is over and over on waking "Jesus, Have mercy" and "Jesus, I trust in you".

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Highly Recommended Movie!

"Saint of 9/11"  about Father Mychal Judge, NYFD Chaplin who died at World Trade Tower number 1 when it collapsed...a very moving, touching movie about a priest who tried to live the life of Christ among the people of NYC.

Monday, April 5, 2010

I want to go out, to help others.  I want to seek out the ones who walk the roads in desperation and sorrow!  I want!  I want!  Sigh "I want"...  I want so much not my will but God's will!  To help the invisible, to help the lost, to reach out and lift up the hidden.  Oh my glorious God I want to do for you!  How do YOU wish for me to serve?  What can I do for YOU?  My God, my God how I love and desire to serve, to give all, to be whatever YOU ask of me my glorious GOD!  For today is today and this minute is all I know, this hour is all I know, this hour is all that matters.  Glorious is Your Wonder!

All is within Your Power dear God....everything is is Your Divine Hand dear God.  Tomorrow never comes and it is folly for my to think, wish, plan for tomorrow.  Tomorrow never comes for all is now, and nothing else is, or matters dear Beloved.  All is for YOU, all is for You.   You are the hope.  You are the wonder,  You are the Light, the Life, the Love that guides us small pitiful humans.. You dear God are the breath of our lungs, You are the beat of our hearts....You my wondrous God are the majesty of our walk through this world.  You dear Jesus, You dear Father Almighty, you dear Holy Spirit are as ONE the force that makes us wake every morning, makes us sing with joy, makes us cry with love.  You dear Holy Trinity are the One that holds our tender hearts in your Divine hands and brings us to hope, brings us to Your Divine glory... You Almighty God most precious Light and glory, You are the One that makes us smile in the early morning breeze.
Ahhh, spring!  It arrived this year with a hard handed determination to burst forth everything in the shortest time possible!  Temperatures have blazed into the 80-90 range during the day-gasp! too hot, too fast!  This is July/August weather, only getting down to the upper 50's-mid 60s at night.  The one time procrastination paid off, oh and being out of air conditioner was never taken down so thanks be to God it is on now!

Pollen has coated the cars with that fine green reminder that as beautiful as the flowers, trees, and green grass are there is a reason I run and hide indoors.  Allergies, especially in the pollen bowl of the valley mountains do have occasional disadvantages-aw, but who cares? They are beautiful wonders! Good thing about the heat (searing, sizzle, brain fog, sweat) wave is everything is coming out so fast the worst of the allergy season will be dramatically shorter this year-yeah!  Must admit tho it was frustrating when yesterday I waited to take a picture of the just opening dogwood blooms, to see the leaves already overtaking them by this afternoon!  Usually there is a nice 2-4 day period of gradual beauty with the trees filled with their flowers only. So, severe hayfever/allergy suffers take heart if you live in this area, my prediction is only 1 more week of severe pollen clouds then it should diminish dramatically!  But the sicky-ick is sure worth the wonder of the shifting in landscape, even if it does give us all heatstroke and high drug bills!  LOL!
The Lord has blessed me with such a loving, caring family... the Lord has blessed me with a country that is free from wars and strife on its homeland...the Lord has blessed me with comforts... the Lord has blessed me with a modicum of intelligence... The Lord has blessed me with a watcher's mind of the world...the Lord has blessed me with so many talents... the Lord has blessed me with so many gifts... The Lord has blessed me in ways too numerous to count...

I feel terrible because on a day that all should be feeling glad and rejoicing, I.. I don't.  Intellectually I know this is the pinnacle of Christian life.  My joy is faked and forced for the sake of others, how I wish I could feel that happiness and warmth from the joy of Easter and from my dear I wish, how I wish and pray maybe?  I feel no peace.  I feel no joy.  Sorry, I tried.  Sorry, I try.  God have mercy on my poor soul.
I am not the person I was a year ago.  I am not the person I was six months ago.  I am not even the person I was one month ago.  I am what I am now. The past never to be again.  The future never is.  I am what I am for this moment, this ticking, slow passing moment.  So it is, and so it shall be.  What more can it be?  What more is it to be?  Turn and change..look and move...I can see all around me and all is what it is.  Silence was a friend, a welcomed moment of prayer and grace.  Silence was... silence has morphed into a vile ticking that never ceases within me.  Silence now slices and rends.  Silence is my only companion of this world.  Silence was my friend.  Silence was a moment of grace.  Silence was... silence is what it is for now.
Ahh morning, the sunlight greets me! chases away the furry lil'  rats that gnaw overnight in my mind and in my heart.  Monday morning, always a good day, everybody is back to work and doing their whatsoever of daily living leaving me be.  to silence now calmed, the relaxing sigh of tension leaving the muscles,  silent trembling fades.  Ahh silence, the many faceted face of you! For this morn I embrace you, hold you close as a favored fuzzy robe on a cold winter's night.  For this new morning the Light shines anew and the burdens not as heavy for the tomb is empty.
The wonder of it all, the simple act of offering up my own personal crosses always brings a calm and peace inside, the simple act of being patient and trusting.  Jesus hears all prayers and never gives a burden too hard to carry.. for His glory, for His glory!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Saturday, April 3, 2010

"Some are born to sunny delights. Some are born to sunny delights.  Some are born to endless night."  -William Blake
Have I told y'all I am a Blake fan?  Prob'ly not.... why would I?

We wait for morning's delight to save us from the endless night.... to grant us never ending delight of the Lord, our endless Light.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Good Friday

Video Link
"O My Savior"

O my Savior, my beloved,
See the plight love brings you to!
What distress and what affliction,
Wicked men have laid on you!
O my Savior, what transgression,
Or what evil did you do?
That you should be vexed and wounded,
With no hope of any cure.
Holy Thursday, 2010

Had a whole different piece written, describing the day and the wonderful opportunity I had to share it with others filled with symbolism and good company. But all I can say is now thanks to Mary I understand more why Christmas hymns and songs have been a constant fixation/meditation from the Holy Spirit all this time.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint John 13:1-15.

Before the feast of Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to pass from this world to the Father. He loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end. The devil had already induced Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, to hand him over. So, during supper, fully aware that the Father had put everything into his power and that he had come from God and was returning to God, he rose from supper and took off his outer garments. He took a towel and tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and dry them with the towel around his waist. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Master, are you going to wash my feet?" Jesus answered and said to him, "What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later." Peter said to him, "You will never wash my feet." Jesus answered him, "Unless I wash you, you will have no inheritance with me." Simon Peter said to him, "Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well." Jesus said to him, "Whoever has bathed has no need except to have his feet washed, for he is clean all over; so you are clean, but not all." For he knew who would betray him; for this reason, he said, "Not all of you are clean." So when he had washed their feet (and) put his garments back on and reclined at table again, he said to them, "Do you realize what I have done for you? You call me 'teacher' and 'master,' and rightly so, for indeed I am. If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another's feet. I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.