Monday, March 8, 2010

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.  Blessed art thou among women.  Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our deaths.  Amen."

Our mother, given to us by Jesus on the cross.  What a wondrous gift from Jesus to us!  At times I try to just think about what it means to have Mary as my mother.  Words are not adequate enough to describe the depth of  grace and love I have received from this humble, gentle woman whose sole purpose is to lovingly bring us to her son, Jesus.

The darkest hours of my life when I asked Mary's help, did she ever stay silent?  Did she ever not respond?  Never!  Blessed Mary always, always answered my sincere prayers, heard my tear stained pleas.  When I made my consecration to Jesus through Mary on All Saint's Day in Madonna House was one of the few ways I could show her just how much I loved her.  Little did I know how much more she would become a part of my daily life.  Humility, yes, she is teaching me about humility over these pass few months.  More importantly our mother lovingly shows me that no matter how dark the path seems around me she and Jesus are always with me.  Sometimes they are silent, waiting inside this heart of mine, waiting for me to learn what lesson I need so I might grow ever closer to God.  
I do pray that she might intercede and ask our Lord to allow me to draw or do anything artistic again... even the most rudimentary task..doesn't matter how small or plain.  But I guess it isn't so for now, that is is a time for learning, and penance.  I know my sins.. yes, I do know my unworthiness and how I abused the gifts given me in the past for selfish desires and insults towards God.  It is how it should be for now.  I do miss those brief times though in January...what a glorious grace those times sick in bed were!  who would have thought this is where they would end up?  Stagnant, images stuck in limbo, I can see them crystalline in my mind's eye, etched in my heart...but the hand, the eye, the pen....not to be for now.   O what a Lent it is shaping up to be. For this is fine though with me, it is teaching me to give up all for love, all for the One.  Bending me down low, to crawl on the ground in supplication...breaking me of the old...dying to even desiring that which use to define me in the world. So it shall it shall be.

No comments:

Post a Comment